By Anne Webster

The question of whether and when to marry the father of your unborn child is deeply personal, often entangled with cultural, emotional, financial, and moral factors. However, from a legal standpoint—particularly in New York State—marriage carries significant implications for both the mother and the child, especially when it comes to parental rights, custody, child support, inheritance, and immigration issues. This article analyzes these legal considerations to help expecting mothers make an informed decision.

1. No Legal Obligation to Marry in New York State

In New York, there is no legal requirement that parents be married in order to raise a child together or share legal rights to the child. Whether or not a couple chooses to marry before or after the child is born—or not at all—does not affect the mother’s legal custody at birth. However, the unmarried father’s legal position is more complex.

2. Establishing Paternity for Unmarried Fathers

If the child is born outside of marriage, the father must establish legal paternity to gain parental rights. This can be done through:

• Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity (VAP): Both parents may sign this form at the hospital or later at a family court or local child support office.
• Court-Ordered DNA Testing: If there is a dispute or no VAP, the court may order genetic testing to confirm paternity.

Legal Impact: Without establishing paternity, the biological father has no legal right to custody or visitation and cannot be required to pay child support. By marrying the mother before birth, the father is automatically presumed to be the legal parent under New York law, eliminating the need for court action or acknowledgment forms.

3. Custody and Visitation Rights

In New York, when a child is born to married parents, both spouses automatically share legal and physical custody. However, for unmarried parents, the mother has sole legal and physical custody by default until the father establishes paternity and petitions the court for custody or visitation.

If the couple marries before the child is born, it simplifies the custody landscape by giving both parents presumptive joint rights. This may prevent future disputes or court battles over custody and access.

4. Child Support Obligations

Marriage does not exempt a parent from paying child support, nor is it required for a parent to request support. In fact, even if the couple remains unmarried and the mother has sole custody, the father can be required to pay child support once paternity is established.

However, child support enforcement becomes more efficient and less contentious if the father’s legal relationship to the child is indisputable. Marriage is one way to remove ambiguity.

5. Impact on Inheritance Rights

Under New York’s intestacy laws (what happens if someone dies without a will), children born to married parents automatically inherit from both parents. If the couple is not married, and the father dies without having established paternity, the child may be denied inheritance.

Similarly, if the mother dies, the unmarried father may have difficulty asserting rights to the child or managing their inheritance unless he has already established legal paternity or custody.

Legal Insight: Marrying before the child’s birth automatically protects the child’s right to inherit from both parents and simplifies estate administration.

6. Health Insurance and Government Benefits

A legally married father can include his wife and child on his employer-sponsored health insurance policy with greater ease. Certain government programs (e.g., TANF, SSI, WIC) may also consider marital status in eligibility calculations.

In some cases, staying unmarried may actually benefit the mother’s eligibility for state or federal aid. Thus, it’s important to analyze the financial implications with a benefits attorney or caseworker before making a decision.

7. Immigration Considerations

Marriage can be a critical factor in securing immigration benefits. If one parent is a U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident and the other is undocumented, marrying before the child is born may streamline a petition for legal status.

In family-based immigration, USCIS often gives stronger weight to marriages that occur before the birth of a shared child. Delaying marriage until after birth could result in heightened scrutiny during adjustment of status or visa applications.

8. Tax Implications

Married couples in New York can file jointly, often resulting in more favorable tax treatment compared to two unmarried parents. On the other hand, marriage may trigger a “marriage penalty” if both partners earn similar incomes.

The IRS only recognizes marriages that occur by December 31 of the tax year for joint filings. If financial planning is a priority, speaking to a tax advisor before deciding on timing is essential.

9. Legal Protections in Case of Death or Incapacity

Married spouses have automatic legal standing to:

• Make healthcare decisions
• Inherit property without a will
• Claim Social Security survivor benefits
• Bring wrongful death claims

If a couple is unmarried, these rights are not automatic. The non-marital partner may be excluded from key decisions or benefits unless advance directives, powers of attorney, and wills are in place.

10. What If the Relationship is Unstable?

Marriage should not be seen as a panacea or moral obligation due to pregnancy. If the relationship is toxic, abusive, or unstable, entering into a legal union may compound the legal and emotional challenges rather than resolve them.

New York State has laws that protect the custodial parent—typically the mother in these situations—whether or not the parties are married. The family court system allows the mother to:

• Petition for full custody
• Seek orders of protection
• Request child support and medical coverage

Legal counsel should be sought before marrying under pressure, particularly if domestic violence or coercion is present.

11. Should You Marry Before or After Birth?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer, but legally, marrying before birth offers clear advantages:

• Automatic paternity
• Simplified custody rights
• Easier access to benefits and insurance
• Inheritance protections for the child

However, those advantages must be weighed against the quality of the relationship, financial stability, and future intentions. If marriage is pursued after the child is born, the legal issues mentioned can still be addressed—but they may require more time, expense, and formality.

Conclusion

In New York State, the law gives unmarried mothers default custody and control, while unmarried fathers must take steps to establish legal rights. Marriage before the birth of a child simplifies a host of legal issues, from paternity and custody to inheritance and immigration.

However, the decision to marry should be made thoughtfully—not out of fear, obligation, or social pressure. Consulting a family law attorney, especially one familiar with New York-specific legal nuances, can help navigate the best path forward for the mother, the father, and the unborn child.

If you’re pregnant and considering marriage, ask yourself not only “When should I marry?” but also “Is this marriage in the best long-term interest of me and my child?”

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For tailored legal counsel, consult an experienced family law attorney in New York State.